Public service announcement.

[aumentou]

Further to the last public service announcement, I have this to add:

Having done a lot of thinking and nine months of testing, I'm certain. This is the way forward. I'm changing sex.

Anybody with any questions, you may as well ask them now. Two that I anticipate are "are you having a wake?" and "why?".

To take the easy one first, no I am not planning on having a wake for my former identity. I understand why people might do that, but I'd find it creepy because I'm still alive and have the same memories. In fact, from in here I feel like the same person. Just less repressed, and less depressed.

As for why? Well, it's like this: my brain believes I'm female. And it always has. This causes a certain amount of difficulty when it's presented with evidence that the body it inhabits is not. This is often referred to as gender dysphoria, which you can look up, though what I'd say and what a textbook would say about it will likely differ slightly. It's a pain, and, for me, this is the way to fix it. Yes, it's a pretty drastic solution. But it's a serious enough problem to make it necessary.

Regards,

Isabelle.

Comments

[chiv.livejournal.com]

Wow.
Good luck and congratulations.

I too wonder about the wake, I mean unless you're undergoing a complete personality overhaul as well it seems a bit unnecessary.
And I wonder about the use of 'former identity' in your post. Your identity will change inasmuch as it'll be a new name and gender on your paperwork but considering how deep and ingrained a person's identity is (all the way down to personality traits and nervous tics), I'm not convinced all of that can be changed.
I'm not saying, as someone will no doubt misinterpret and jump down my throat, that you're just going to be 'R' in a dress from now on, just that your identity is much more than the physical.

However there is one question that isn't all serious:

What impact has this had/will this have on your toy soldiers?

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

Identity can refer to a lot of things. In that sentence (...former identity), it refers to name and other material matters. I'd have used a different word, but I didn't have one.

Toy soldiers:

Well, apparently only girls play elves anyway*, so there's no problem there.

*I read it on the internet, so it must be true!

Honestly? I don't know. I seem to be a bit busy to actually use the damn things. So I might sell them. Want some orcs? They're fun, but the army needs more shoota boys.

[tallbint.livejournal.com]

Fair play, we love you for who you are, not what gender pronoun is most suitable, and gender has little relation to personality other than in your case leaving you feeling trapped inside the wrong core shell.

It is very easy to remember you as Isabelle so can't see it being a problem, other than the obvious pronoun confusion as brains reprogramme, and we would be honoured to introduce our smallings to their auntie Isabelle once they arrive (although we can't promise to spell it right as I always thought it had an o rather than an a).

Oh, and I may still call you dude, mate or darling as for me these are gender non specific, its a midlands thing. Please do point it out if these annoy you but girls do occasionally get this from me!

[glitterybint.livejournal.com]

different word is "self concept" wot I know from doing health and social care :)

[glitterybint.livejournal.com]

succintly put!

I did mention a wake, but not really as a serious suggestion and I agree that it would be very very odd and like attending your own funeral.

I do find it hard because I still see lots of Rob in you and it's hard to adjust, that doesn't mean that I don't approve or anything. It just means that I'm sad at the passing of Rob. That's my problem and not yours though.

Questions- would it be terribly patronising to have you round for girly pampering?
- does this mean you will suddenly start liking chocolate?
- can I also still call you dude? Clare is a dude to me so it's non gender specific to me :)

[bonedancer.livejournal.com]

After all the glowing reviews I've heard about your, um, "maleness" it seems a shame to get rid of it, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Even if that means not being a man any more.

Good luck!

[child-of-chance.livejournal.com]

So many people have said so much. About the being fond of 'R' and sad to see him go - hey, I think he saved my life!, so I would have liked to see him around for a long long time. (And yes, that's my problem, not yours). And I haven't perhaps seemed as supportive as you would have expected or hoped, and I'm sorry about that. But you are you, and all of us love you. And we want you to be happy. *hugs*

The wake would have given you the chance to hear all the eulogies from the people who love you, but it would have been a bit weird. Surreal maybe is a better word.

And I'd have used the 'o' spelling, too, but the more medieval one rather than the Scots one is pretty :-)

I wish I had kids whose Auntie you could be.

[andymariachi.livejournal.com]

Good luck - it's a big step to take! I'm guessing you'll have to change your LJ name!

[ceehoss.livejournal.com]

Maybe we just read that as Mrs Face from now on?

[andrajames.livejournal.com]

If I didn't know damn well that I felt I wasn't male well before I met anybody else who is trans I'd swear it's contagious!

Having not talked to you much of late I don't really know what to say, but I feel the urge to give you a big supportive *squish* <.< >.>

[littlejenny123.livejournal.com]

Yay!

You gonna change the name of this LJ now to help the easily confused?

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

It sort of is. If you don't understand what you're feeling, you're less likely to do anything about it. If you have no idea how accepted it would be, you're less likely to. So overall if you know other people who are like you, then you're more likely to go ahead and do it. Or declare it, anyway. It's like coming out of the closet, I think.

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

That would be better, really. Spending $15 changing the name is currently low on my financial priority list.

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

Surgeons say it's good to have a lot of raw material.

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

Not unless "girly pampering" involves things I'm already good at.
No, it's still safe to leave open chocolate near me.
Yes.

[longrat.livejournal.com]

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."
It's just sometimes the first step is the hardest one to take.
Here's hoping that the rest of the steps are quick and easy, and your destination is all you ever needed to make you happy with who you are

[glitterybint.livejournal.com]

"raw" *shudder*

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

It took me less than a day to get used to the idea but then maybe the people I hang round with here in Manchester have made me even more accepting than I used to be. I do think we get on better now than we used to but even if we didn't the most important thing to me is that my friends are happy.
x

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

I second that (you know what I'm referring to)

[musichalldiva.livejournal.com]

Well, Isabelle, you wouldn't have been sharing chocolate here anyway, because it doesn't stay in the fridge long enough to share - so you'd just have to bring your own, and that applies to everyone that comes! :-)
The conservatory of restfulness is a girly zone on most days - banned subjects include model railways and Top Gear, because those send me to sleep.(except the Reliant Robin Space Shuttle.)
I do anticipate an odd pronoun slip , but as I tend to call everyone 'love' anyway,I hope anything else will be put down to my age and senility.
Happiness is what counts in life and we are happy for you, Isabelle, and remember, Ed hasn't yet met you - and he would love to!
Cupcakes soon - name your flavour!
I'll miss Rob, but am left with only good things to remember - now, we have good times to look forward to !

[musichalldiva.livejournal.com]

Whenever you may like, I would love you to meet a friend of mine, Carol Robson, we were on a course together, and meet for lunch every so often/ go to the same meetings, as we belong the the 'Pictures of Sheffield, Old and New' FB group.

[longhairedhippy.livejournal.com]

best of luck - if it makes you happy I'm all for it.

There are a lot of folks around who've been through the same thing, so you'll have people to talk to, too. (i.e. people who know what they're talking about - you could talk to me, but I know precisely nothing...)

[caerban.livejournal.com]

If you ain't you then do what you need to do to make you you. That nearly made sense when I said it in my head :)
But whatever good luck :)

[medusa-81.livejournal.com]

Been offline all week as been on holiday, but wanted to add my congratulations. I changed my name recently and it made a huge difference to me - who I am and how I felt. Obviously changing gender is totally different, and I'm not trying to compare the two, just say I know how a change made me feel better and I hope the same will be for you. Wishing you much (further) joy and happiness (as I did already) :)

[rich-jacko.livejournal.com]

I'd been wondering for a while whether you might be heading towards this. We've already got to know you as Isabelle, so you've already taken a huge step - hope everything gets easier and happier for you from here. Good luck!

[ju-bear.livejournal.com]

Hello Isabelle! :)

I somehow missed this post, but it is me not able to read everything in one sittng!

Good luck with everything and am glad the chocolate is still safe with you around! ;)

It will take some adjustment from me, only because I am mainly exhausted so brain and mouth may not engaged before I address you, so please bear with me. :)

See you soon, Senorita! :)