The question...
Sep. 19th, 2012 03:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aumentouSo sometimes I run into bits of culture and have to ask the question: Is it worth it?
Like: Zero Punctuation. It's often sexist. It's frequently homophobic. It's transphobic just about every chance it gets. As usual, I don't think the writer set out to be these things, he just is and it comes across. Intent gets you a little credit. But it doesn't make it less painful to watch your show, read your words, be around you. The guy doesn't want to be sexist, he doesn't want to be homophobic, etc etc... but he is. He can't help it, and if you were to talk to him about it, he'd probably get defensive, because that's what people do.
Is it worth it? Why do we even have to ask? Can't we just say no? Walk away from it because the prejudice is icky to the touch and we do not want to be near that? Well, yes, you can try. But a) if you do you will cut yourself off from just about everything, including everything that would have made you laugh or feel something good, and b) you will fail. Because you have to buy food in the real world, and those prejudices are there, too. What are you going to do? Stop buying food? Stop going to work?
Is it worth it? In the case of ZP, I often think yes. And sometimes no. But I think yes often enough that the bookmark is still in my browser. I think ZP makes some good points about games design (though extra credit was more eloquent), and I find ZP funny. Except of course for those moments when I find it slightly sickening. But I can put up with those moments in exchange for the funny ones. Woohoo, compromise.
Is it worth it? Not always. There are days when I don't want to deal with ZP. When the bad aspects outweigh the good. There are other things I've given up on completely. I was a little bored by Penny Arcade by the time they had their dickwolves joke, and I thought that was okay because I thought they were joking about MMOs (RPG deliberately omitted). Then I stuck with it through the not-apology because I could imagine the response. Then I saw them making dickwolves references after that. And I asked: is it worth it? Is the enjoyment I get out of this comic worth it when I know I'll be supporting two assholes who (whether you objected to the original comic or not) are now just referencing a rape reference as though that is itself a joke? I would like to say I am a massively principled person who decided without checking, but I am not. I asked "is it worth it?" and I flipped back through a few issues, and I thought "no, because a) this is a really bad thing they're doing, and b) they haven't done anything that's really impressed me for a long while". That was an easy one. The harder one came later, when their site started hosting Extra Credit.
Is it worth it? The question itself makes me feel slightly sick. Every time I ask it, I'm setting up a moral issue and making a decision on that issue for reasons that are not about morality. I'm balancing my entertainment against morality. Because every time I say yes I am supporting something prejudiced, that by its existence propagates the prejudices within itself. But I am also balancing my own involvement in this unpleasant conglomerate we call culture. Humans are social creatures. What am I if I am not part of society? Apart from horribly lonely, obviously, that's a given. Is that a good enough justification? It had better be, this compromise is necessary for me to live.
"Is it worth it?" seems to come up sooner or later with everyone and everything. You get two hours of stand-up comedienne, and she's funny and she's on the point and somewhere after the two hour mark she said just one little thing that made me feel queasy. And on the one hand it's great! An easy decision. On the other hand, I thought I'd found perfection.
"Is it worth it?" used not to be such a big question. I was like the ZP writer. Full of prejudices I'd never looked at. Didn't know how easy I had it, in those ways. Didn't know how much strife I must have caused to those around me. Sorry, by the way. But it was easy. Easy to feel safe. Easy to laugh along. Easy to ignore the occasional bad moment. Gets a lot harder to ignore the bad moments when they start outnumbering the good, on most things.
"Is it worth it?" needs another example. I watched a film called The Girl On The Bridge. It's french, about a man who throws knives and a woman he throws them at. Once upon a time I thought it beautiful. Appealed to my unacknowledged kinky side, and my romantic streak. And of course I was male, not quite monogamous, and mostly heterosexual, so it was easy to relate to the main character. That's the man, by the way. Even in a film with only two significant characters, he's the important one and she's a hairs breadth away from being definable entirely by references to TVTropes. I saw it again earlier this year, and I still think it's beautiful. But it's not about me any more. It's about a fucked up monogamous heterosexual man, and a fucked up monogamous heterosexual woman, who when they're together are marginally less fucked up. It's still a sweetly romantic story, it's still (unofficially) kinky, and I think it's still beautiful. But the connection is gone. Is it worth it? Absolutely, but I don't love it enough to watch it again any time soon.
Is it worth it? When you sit in a car, and someone you like a lot starts talking about sexuality, and it's your sexuality, and you think their sexuality too, though they seem to be ignorant of that, and their words are overwhelmingly negative. Is it worth it? Is it worth being around them, knowing that might happen again? Is it possible to hang around them, like them, enjoy their company, knowing what they think of your sexuality and so of you? Apparently the answer is yes, for me with some people. I was surprised. But how many people do you know who don't have unpleasant prejudices? I've looked inside myself, and seen some nasty stuff, and I know there's more to see. I'd have looked more, but there's only so much I can take at once. I don't want to be like that, and I have to know, but not yet. Maybe tonight I'll start. But it's already twenty past three and I'm not sure that's a good time for it.
"Is it worth it?" was answered in the negative again today, when I removed someone from my friends list. You probably don't know them, they were just an internet acquaintance. Someone I had some things in common with, once. But they were full of shit, and their course in life seems radically at odds with mine, and they wouldn't stop calling my relationships wrong, and my patience has limits. I think that's why I'm writing this. They won't see it, but I need to think it through.
And if... if you don't ask it. If it's all fine by you. If you don't need to worry about it. Then, well, that must be nice for you. I genuinely envy you. But as with many things, you can't go back.
Like: Zero Punctuation. It's often sexist. It's frequently homophobic. It's transphobic just about every chance it gets. As usual, I don't think the writer set out to be these things, he just is and it comes across. Intent gets you a little credit. But it doesn't make it less painful to watch your show, read your words, be around you. The guy doesn't want to be sexist, he doesn't want to be homophobic, etc etc... but he is. He can't help it, and if you were to talk to him about it, he'd probably get defensive, because that's what people do.
Is it worth it? Why do we even have to ask? Can't we just say no? Walk away from it because the prejudice is icky to the touch and we do not want to be near that? Well, yes, you can try. But a) if you do you will cut yourself off from just about everything, including everything that would have made you laugh or feel something good, and b) you will fail. Because you have to buy food in the real world, and those prejudices are there, too. What are you going to do? Stop buying food? Stop going to work?
Is it worth it? In the case of ZP, I often think yes. And sometimes no. But I think yes often enough that the bookmark is still in my browser. I think ZP makes some good points about games design (though extra credit was more eloquent), and I find ZP funny. Except of course for those moments when I find it slightly sickening. But I can put up with those moments in exchange for the funny ones. Woohoo, compromise.
Is it worth it? Not always. There are days when I don't want to deal with ZP. When the bad aspects outweigh the good. There are other things I've given up on completely. I was a little bored by Penny Arcade by the time they had their dickwolves joke, and I thought that was okay because I thought they were joking about MMOs (RPG deliberately omitted). Then I stuck with it through the not-apology because I could imagine the response. Then I saw them making dickwolves references after that. And I asked: is it worth it? Is the enjoyment I get out of this comic worth it when I know I'll be supporting two assholes who (whether you objected to the original comic or not) are now just referencing a rape reference as though that is itself a joke? I would like to say I am a massively principled person who decided without checking, but I am not. I asked "is it worth it?" and I flipped back through a few issues, and I thought "no, because a) this is a really bad thing they're doing, and b) they haven't done anything that's really impressed me for a long while". That was an easy one. The harder one came later, when their site started hosting Extra Credit.
Is it worth it? The question itself makes me feel slightly sick. Every time I ask it, I'm setting up a moral issue and making a decision on that issue for reasons that are not about morality. I'm balancing my entertainment against morality. Because every time I say yes I am supporting something prejudiced, that by its existence propagates the prejudices within itself. But I am also balancing my own involvement in this unpleasant conglomerate we call culture. Humans are social creatures. What am I if I am not part of society? Apart from horribly lonely, obviously, that's a given. Is that a good enough justification? It had better be, this compromise is necessary for me to live.
"Is it worth it?" seems to come up sooner or later with everyone and everything. You get two hours of stand-up comedienne, and she's funny and she's on the point and somewhere after the two hour mark she said just one little thing that made me feel queasy. And on the one hand it's great! An easy decision. On the other hand, I thought I'd found perfection.
"Is it worth it?" used not to be such a big question. I was like the ZP writer. Full of prejudices I'd never looked at. Didn't know how easy I had it, in those ways. Didn't know how much strife I must have caused to those around me. Sorry, by the way. But it was easy. Easy to feel safe. Easy to laugh along. Easy to ignore the occasional bad moment. Gets a lot harder to ignore the bad moments when they start outnumbering the good, on most things.
"Is it worth it?" needs another example. I watched a film called The Girl On The Bridge. It's french, about a man who throws knives and a woman he throws them at. Once upon a time I thought it beautiful. Appealed to my unacknowledged kinky side, and my romantic streak. And of course I was male, not quite monogamous, and mostly heterosexual, so it was easy to relate to the main character. That's the man, by the way. Even in a film with only two significant characters, he's the important one and she's a hairs breadth away from being definable entirely by references to TVTropes. I saw it again earlier this year, and I still think it's beautiful. But it's not about me any more. It's about a fucked up monogamous heterosexual man, and a fucked up monogamous heterosexual woman, who when they're together are marginally less fucked up. It's still a sweetly romantic story, it's still (unofficially) kinky, and I think it's still beautiful. But the connection is gone. Is it worth it? Absolutely, but I don't love it enough to watch it again any time soon.
Is it worth it? When you sit in a car, and someone you like a lot starts talking about sexuality, and it's your sexuality, and you think their sexuality too, though they seem to be ignorant of that, and their words are overwhelmingly negative. Is it worth it? Is it worth being around them, knowing that might happen again? Is it possible to hang around them, like them, enjoy their company, knowing what they think of your sexuality and so of you? Apparently the answer is yes, for me with some people. I was surprised. But how many people do you know who don't have unpleasant prejudices? I've looked inside myself, and seen some nasty stuff, and I know there's more to see. I'd have looked more, but there's only so much I can take at once. I don't want to be like that, and I have to know, but not yet. Maybe tonight I'll start. But it's already twenty past three and I'm not sure that's a good time for it.
"Is it worth it?" was answered in the negative again today, when I removed someone from my friends list. You probably don't know them, they were just an internet acquaintance. Someone I had some things in common with, once. But they were full of shit, and their course in life seems radically at odds with mine, and they wouldn't stop calling my relationships wrong, and my patience has limits. I think that's why I'm writing this. They won't see it, but I need to think it through.
And if... if you don't ask it. If it's all fine by you. If you don't need to worry about it. Then, well, that must be nice for you. I genuinely envy you. But as with many things, you can't go back.
