Life IS pain. Anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something.

[aumentou]

I've got a bruise three inches above the right nipple from a bite, and one towards the front of the left armpit from a bill. I'm walking with a limp after a rather nasty jab to the outside of my left hip joint, and there are a few other scratches and jabs here and there.

Medieval practise makes me feel alive, and I think the reason it does is it taps primal impulses (responses to pain and violence) in ways that are far more intense than the everyday. Normal life pain is a bit of a headache, or those rather nasty arthritis twinges - so, irritating, chronic, but not exciting. Fighting pains are far more intense, and hence exciting.
Bruises and so forth are also good because you know that one day they will be gone. There's an optimistic outlook, whereas everyday pain will probably just increase as you get older.

On an unrelated issue, Guns n Roses are now back in my CD collection, and have just helped me tidy my room. To the uninitiated the new tidy state might look quite similar to the previous untidy state, but everything is arranged in a more logical manner. Really.

Comments

[bluecassandra.livejournal.com]

Er . . . people that self harm say this sort of thing. The bit about pain making you feel alive, not about guns and roses, thats just mad.

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

The subject is actually a quote - The Princess Bride I think.

I think self-harmers have made a critical mistake. The pain isn't the objective, it's just part of the experience. If reenactment brought me out in bruises without an accompanying bout of intense exercise and endorphin release, then I wouldn't bother.

On the other hand, dancing does give me some exercise, and some happy endorphins, but I prefer reenacting. It's far more intense than dancing, and I think the reason is the potential for pain involves you far more because pain stimuli are so powerful in your mind. However, I don't think the pain itself is an essential element, I think the potential is enough. If you believe it could hurt, it doesn't need to.

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

Although I know what you mean about pain- I got tattooed and pierced because I like how they look but the high afterwards was also good, this is also why people practise BDSM. BTW I have a book on arthritis to lend you which my dad said was v helpful.

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I'm missing something, but I lump the masochism part of BDSM in with self-harm. It seems to be missing the point.

*shrugs*

Then, the sadism part... surely, if you were really sadistic, and someone genuinely wanted to be hit, then that wouldn't be any good for you? I mean, surely the attraction is in the inflicting of pain? Inflict implies an absence of choice on the part of the person being hurt. If they can say no at any time, then they aren't a victim and you aren't in control. They are, and you're just doing them a sexual favour, albeit an odd one. Surely if what you want is to be all powerful and dominant and stuff, then that isn't what you're after?

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

I think you prob are missing something being not that way inclined, in general the masochists I've met do not want to lasting harm inflicted on them whereas self harmers often cut til it bleeds and thus scars.

I don't think Im a sadist all the way through, Im too much of a pussy for that! BDSM is often called "play" as it is about acting out things, if it wasn't consensual it would be torture as I've already said- therefore it is playing at being control, this can still be powerful though. I personally get a kick from seeing people enjoying the pain so if they actually found it really unpleasant than I wouldn't.

A point- if you enjoy hitting people with sticks doesn't that make you a bit of a sadist? Even though they are letting you do it! ;)

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

I enjoy hitting people with sticks. I don't enjoy hurting them. Hitting them in the first place is a physical and mental contest that is taxing and energetic. Hurting them is what happens when you've done it wrong.

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

Yeah but surely if you are hitting them with a large wooden stick you are pretty likely to hurt them however you do it? If the stick makes contact with any part of their body and you are fighting hard it is prob going to leave a mark. The only way you could say it was just hitting and no chance of much hurting would be if you did it with say a balloon animal ;)

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

Yes, most likely they will get hurt. You pull the blows, so they don't hit as hard. You're trying to hit, but not to bruise. However, you aren't going to manage it every time, and you will give and receive bruises.

That doesn't mean the pain is the point of it.

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

I don't think pain is the entire point for me in BDSM either- I describe myself is asked as a Dom sadist as the domination and playing at surrendering control is also a big part of it for me. Personally I am not comfortable at inflicting more than a smallish amount of pain on someone- I will mark someone but I do not like to draw blood or create weals that last more than a day, it would be hard for me to really hurt someone too as I lack upper body strength as well you know- I am really a big girly and not a big scary sadist you know! ;)

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

Basically you can feel powerful and dominent, it is just within a set of boundaries within which you do have a certain amount of freedom. For someone to even pretend to give you power over them can be a kick.

[bluecassandra.livejournal.com]

It's a game, a roleplay. Plus, what she says, it isnt about the infliction of pain per se. I have never seen so much patheticly wimpy spanking as in fetish clubs. Anyways there are differnt types of pain and sometimes whats painful and whats pleasurable aren't terribly distuingushable, you just ddont have enough nerves!

[bluecassandra.livejournal.com]

"If you believe it could hurt, it doesn't need to."

sounds like my sex life.

Anyway, yeah, I think the self harming thing is the natural focus on pain thats got kinda twisted up along of the way (pain does trigger soem reinforcing things, like an adrenalin rush sometimes, plus short sharp pain can be a release from long dull pain) - plus there are the symbolic elements to it as well, which you dont really have in re-enactment. Used to know a kid who sliced her arm once for each slice of bread she ate. I think she'll be wearing long sleeves alot.

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

I agree about the symbolism thing- a friend who used to do it said "now my outside matches my inside".Another person has carved symbols into their arms. BTW thanks for backing me up on the BDSM thing as it can be hard to explain to people who don't practise :)

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

I would say sex gives you a similiar high and it generally causes less damage!

[glitterybint.livejournal.com]

Sex is nothing like fighting, except if you have fight sex, but even so its in a completely different league.

mmm fight sex

Rob> see, I told you to go, aren't you glad I came and bounced at you to be hit with a stick? *grin*

Adrian commented on how bouncy you were, I think you need to come more often so you dont get overexcited.

Im really sorry about your hip, I didnt realise I'd hit you so hard. I got told to "fight like I meant it" so got a little lost in the moment, as it were. If its any consolation my catalogue of injury is a lovely whacking brusie on *my* left hip, a nice red one on my bum, sore knuckles on my left hand and an arm that twinges when i try and straighten my elbow. Oh and the aching feel-like-you-broke-them ribs that go with the territory.

I feel that bruises are also trophies, I want to show mine off with pride *grin*.

I miss fighting you :[

[mr-s-face.livejournal.com]

It's alright, my legs moving, so I don't think it's a problem.

I still think you need to fight with more deliberation :op

[glitterybint.livejournal.com]

Adrian said that every time I got up I should look like I meant it. with you there is too much conversation and we end up having a mother's meeting with a bit of a ting to it.

I remember once at sword prac Adrian got me wound up (by telling me to stop fighting like a girl)so that I'd fight better, and I did.

Bruises are most impressive.. but dont hurt :[

hand is sore but not bruised :[ need gauntlets.