CV's

[aumentou]

According to several CV sites, I am doing everything wrong.
Check this out:
http://www.alec.co.uk/cvtips/exampfcv.htm

Sooooo I need all my experience and that laid out like so, and then at the top I need my profile!

Something a little like this?

"Bored maths graduate with a wide range of experience getting bored and frustrated with application forms. Able to work as par tof a team, or alternatively ignore what all the incompetant muppets you've hired are doing and just do everything myself. Proven skills with sarcasm, and some experience with parody and mockery. Leading by example, I have the ability to inspire sarcasm and cynicism in others. First class analytical and problem solving skills, which will be completely wasted in this monkey-level job. Dedicated to high quality standards, because if I do a job like this badly my pride will shatter so hard the shrapnel will take out half of sheffield."

Or would that be a little too cheeky?

I think my problem is that bullsh*t smells too much for me to type.

Seriously though, how was it I managed that in five minutes, but can't do a genuine version?

Comments

[bluecassandra.livejournal.com]

The problem is each industries CV's are differnet - I have one for work (which starts with education!) and one for therapy stuff (which starts with how long I've been in therapy and clinical experience). Having seen my IT/ computer geeky friends CV's, I can tell you theirs are completely different to both of mine.Oh, and they have problems writing their own, too. Happily I dont have to do the profiling bit.
Did you ever go to one of those career consulty type places? Thy will write your bullshit for you soemtimes, which is nice. Or me or Dave could do it (Dave being a grade A bullshitter).

[morecake.livejournal.com]

Wow! Getting someone to write your bullshit for you!!! That would be good. Bet it's expensive though.
Having seen that screaming 'yes I can do all these jobs just give me one of them!' at the paper doesn't work, you could try just applying for public sector work. All their forms follow the same format....mid you, it's not like I've had a lot of success with it so far myself.
But think positive happy thoughts!

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

C is right- be positive- things could be worse you could be one of those gothic types ;)

[morecake.livejournal.com]

But then he'd have to listen to silly music and wear *really* silly clothes, and makeup, and hey, hold on a minute..... :-)

[ms-rivet.livejournal.com]

It all comes back to the who is sillier question really? Prob not either TBH, its just Rob is more colourful!