aumentou | Advice for boys...

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Hypothetically, if you are ever travelling down a dark path with no side exits and not observers and there's a woman on her own ahead of you on the route, it's not particularly polite to move fast enough that you're catching her up. Better to hang 40 yards back or so - you know, so that if you were hostile she'd have a good head start. Otherwise, she might get twitchy. Also, when she stands to one side and waits for you to pass rather than keeping on moving, that is not your cue to look amused. Yes, YOU know you're not a mugger or a rapist or anything like that. She doesn't. Since you have just moved in a way consistent with an attack, it's not unreasonable for her to be concerned.

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From:

mr-s-face.livejournal.com

Paranoid?

Let me ask you a question: If you were walking, alone, at night, and three slightly tipsy football fans came walking up behind you, moving faster than you were, would you move to avoid them?

From:

longhairedhippy.livejournal.com

I sympathise, really I do - I posted something (http://longhairedhippy.livejournal.com/377026.html) on a related subject a couple of years back, however it was filtered so I'll post the gist of it here now (please forgive the waffling)...

...if I'm walking down the street and someone walks towards me, I will instinctively check to see if they're carrying any kind of weapon, looking at me funny or showing any other signs of being about to attack me. I'll size them up to see if I think I could fight them off, and if not, I'll also be subconsciously looking for escape routes, safe places to take refuge in, etc. I absolutely hate being in crowded places with strangers (e.g. busy shopping centres) because I am always fearful of being attacked, or robbed or heaven knows what.

I have another behaviour, which I only noticed the other day - if I'm passing someone on the street, I like to give them around eight to ten feet of space, if I can, if there's space - I don't even realise I'm doing it. I realised why the other day - it's roughly the distance at which I wouldn't be able to attack them without surprise. Essentially I'm keeping the distance needed for each of us to defend ourselves. I have no idea how my view of other human beings got quite so twisted.

I tend to walk faster than a lot of people, so I usually end up closing the distance between me and someone in front. If it's late and there's nobody else about I'll cross the road if possible, just to get me further away from them (feeling is mutual) if that's not possible, e.g. walking down the side of a main road with busy traffic, I'll give them as wide a berth as I can, then move away, same way you would if you were passing horses and didn't want to spook them.

To me, the idea of hanging about behind someone, even at a distance, is just creepy. Believe me, I'd notice, and it would set my alarm bells going.

From:

rich-jacko.livejournal.com

> If you were walking, alone, at night, and three slightly tipsy football fans came walking up behind you, moving faster than you were, would you move to avoid them?

Perhaps. It would depend on how threatening I thought their behaviour was. But that would be my decision to move because of how I felt. I'd never in a million years expect them to guess what I was thinking and move away from me accordingly.

From:

mr-s-face.livejournal.com

It isn't a question of telepathy, it's a question of respect. Your actions have consequences. If you take action that affects someone else and gives them a bunch of unpleasant options, you haven't done something good. You haven't done something neutral either - you've done something bad.

From:

glitterybint.livejournal.com

No, I'd think that they were tipsy football fans and would be entirely self absorbed and non- threatening.

I'd be more worried by a single man on his own.

From:

mr-s-face.livejournal.com

This is a nice example of the differences between violence that men do to men an that they do to women. Most men would answer that the other way round.